Definitions

School:                 A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance:    A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:                  A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage:             It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelors degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce:               Future tense of Marriage.

Tears:                   The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Conference:        The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Father:                  A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:               A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Yawn:                    The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
 
Experience:         The name men give to their mistakes.

Doctor:                 A person who kills your ills by pills and kills you by bills.

Politician:             One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence later.

Atom Bomb:         An invention to end all inventions.