final exams~ funny hahaha

Finals week !!


F.I.N.A.L.S.
F: F**k
I: I
N: Never
A: Actually
L: Learned
S: Shit

Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING.....i don't think that was an accident!

I'm not going to cheat on the test tommorow, i'm simply going to study during it.

Twas the night before exam week, and all through the dorms, not a student was studying, this was usually the norm. Kegs in the kitchen, jello shots in the hall--thanks to the liquor, it was a late night for all. Passed out all around, the kids all slept tight. When they woke up the next day, they thought, 'Man, whatta night!' We are to hung-over to study they shouted with cheer. So forget the exams and bring on the beer!

Finals are like boys...
1. they're hard to understand
2. you might get the urge to cheat on them
3. some are harder than others
4. they put pressure on you to perform well
5. they were created to make our lives hell
6. you can work for hours and still get no satisfaction
7. some take longer to finish than others
8. you always have 3 or 4 at a time
9. some aren't as big as you had expected
10. they're much easier to do when you're drunk because you just don't care

A group of college students knew they had a quiz on Monday, so on Friday they decided to go party and come back to study on Sunday. Well, they where having so much fun that they called their professor and said they had a flat tire and couldn't be back until Monday night.. the professor said ok, and they decided to go home Monday, study and take the test Tuesday. So they came back and studied but little did they know the professor was onto them. He put them all into seperate rooms and they took their tests, but the last question was a bonus question worth 50% of the grade..the question? : Which tire????

A professor was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrows final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family members death. One smart ass, male student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" and the whole classroom burst into laughter. After the laughter had subsided, the prof glared at the student, and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write".

Yo his pencil's heavy, knees weak, face is sweaty...the final is on the desk already, but he forgot to study. He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to score A's, but he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down the proctor yawns so loud, then opens his mouth and the words come out...he's talking now everyone's listening now..."the clock's run out...time's up, put your pencils down."

Now I lay me down to study,
I pray the lord I won't go nutty,
for if I fail to learn this junk,
I pray the Lord I will not flunk.
But if I do don't pitty me at all,
just lay my bones in the dorm hall.
Tell my professer I did my best,
now I lay me down to rest,
and pray ill pass tomorrow's test.
But if I die before I wake,
that's one less test ill have to TAKE!

I'm studying for finals - this defies the laws of physics by sucking and blowing at the same time :-/

Dude, why bother taking these finals if I just know I'm going to fail them? Right now, I'm practicing the phrase, 'Would you like fries with that?'
As long as there are finals, there will be prayer in public schools.

I hate having finals. I have to learn everything that I was supposed to be learning all semester … in one week what's with that???
It has commenced...finals week is upon us in full force, seizing what sanity I have left after a menacing term. The thought of a pure, utopian society has faded while (insert school name here) has captured the last breath of any rational existence and conquered our self-worth. In coming days it is likely to see a plethora of unpleasant faces staring into an oblivion that can only be experienced by the (insert school name here) society. The underlying prolifigacy in which this institution so loves to put forth has taken a toll on our already feeble carcasses, in result of consuming repulsive dining hall rations. The possibility of survival is a distant notion...God help us all...

I'm making a million flashcards
In this time of despair,
I can't really concentrate
In this fun swivel chair.
I hate how they say
This is Important to know.
When all we're learning
Is how plants grow.
You have no idea
How annoyed I am
Changing my plans
For this dumb final exam.
Can you please just
LEAVE ME ALONE AND GO AWAY!
YOU DAMN FINALS
YOU'RE RUINING MY DAY!

Chilly Question & Ans.

Chilly Question & Ans.

*Girlfriend: **And are you sure you love me and no one else?*

*Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday*

***********

*Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?*

*Customer: What other colors do you have?*

***********

*Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help.*

*Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help
anyway!!*

***********

*Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?*

*Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.*

***********

*Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!*

*Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.*

***********

*Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!*

*Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?*

***********

*Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.*

*Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!*

***********

*Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!*

*Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.*

***********

*Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!*

*Son: That's why I say she's no **good!*

--
Sean Pun
Butwal, Nepal

Kapilvastu Day on December 1, 2009

Dear Friends

Nepali compatriots worldwide and friends of Nepal are celebrating Kapilvastu Day on December 1, 2009. It was December 1, 1896, when German Archaeologist Anton Fuhrer identified Ashok Pillar, which was already unearthed by Khadga Shamsher, in Kapilvastu -- a kingdom at Buddha's time -- located in southern Nepal that proved this place as birthplace of Lord Buddha. Buddha spent his life till he was 29 at this place as crown prince. This program is instrumental to spread Buddha's message of peace while promoting Nepali patriotism and pride of Nepali nation worldwide. The goal of this program is to expand popularity of Kapilvastu -- the birthplace of Lord Buddha -- among global general masses and help them understand Buddhism and its message of peace and harmony.
Nepalese have been expressing their commitment to peace and harmony by involving in peacekeeping missions at different parts of the globe for decades. Positive experiences and experiments observed in Nepal on peaceful conflict management prove that Nepalese are peace-loving people. Moreover, we are thrilled by expectation of positive outcomes of recent unanimous decision made by UN Security Council on reducing nuclear weapons globally. Hence, this program is also expression of our support to all types of initiatives for long lasting peace built on principles of human rights, social justice and equality.
Birthplace of Lord Buddha, the founder of Buddhism and messenger of peace, has international significance when international armed conflicts and social unrest are prevailing in different parts of the world. Furthermore, the significance of peace and birthplace of first credible promoter of it never diminishes. Considering this fact, UNESCO has listed Lumbini, -- proper place in Kapilvastu -- where Buddha was born, as world heritage site. The credit of making Kapilvastu internationally known goes to Anton Fuhrer and the date he identified Ashok pillar. Thus, we have decided to celebrate December 1, 2009 as Kapilvastu day to honor Archaeologist Fuhrer, to express our solidarity to peace initiatives worldwide, to spread Buddha's message of peace and harmony, and to promote pilgrimage tourism in Kapilvastu.
We have included materials that provide detailed information on Kapilvastu, Anton Fuhrer and his contribution resulted in making Kapilvastu known to the world, and our programs on this day with this letter. Hence, we humbly request you to support this program by all possible means in your capacity, including organizing programs, to make this celebration a success.
This programme is volunteer initiative of ours and everybody is free to mark this day at his/her convenience. Some of possible positive activities one can involve can be:
Organizing talk programmes and meetings locally
*Printing and distributing leaflets that educates people on key facts and figures about Buddha and his teachings, Lumbini and Kapilvastu
*Circulating emails containing key information on Buddha and his teachings, Lumbini and Kapilvastu among friends
*Using social networking sites like facebook, twitter, orkut, hi5, etc., to spread message of Kapilvastu day and its significance
*Materials for our own information and for collection and distribution are available at (All website links are provided by Madhusudan Rimal – who used to teach Buddhism at
Mahendra Sanskrit University and currently living in Germany. Mr. Rimal is trying to organize a programme at Munich, Germany):
About Kapilbastu
http://whc.unesco.org/en/list/666 (world heritage site from UNESCO-UN)
http://www.ddckapilvastu.gov.np/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kapilvastu_District
http://www.buddhist-temples.com/uttar-pradesh/kapilvastu.html
Some pictures http://www.picsearch.com/pictures/travel/cities/asia/northeast%20asia/nepal/kapilvastu.html
About Lumbini
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lumbini
Academic site http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/buddhistworld/lumbini.htm
Informative site
http://www.buddhist-temples.com/lumbini.html
http://www.lumbini.org.uk/
http://www.sacred-destinations.com/nepal/lumbini
About Buddha
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gautama_Buddha
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhahood
http://www.aboutbuddha.org/
Encyclopedia Britannica
http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/83105/Buddha
In Canada
http://www.synaptic.bc.ca/ejournal/buddhist.htm
Ashoka Pillar
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pillars_of_Ashoka
About Buddhism
Academic site
http://www.buddhanet.net/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhism
http://www.sacred-texts.com/bud/index.htm
Responses available till today:
Madhusudan Rimal and friends at Germany are trying to organize a programme at their location.

Friends at Toronto (Ontario, Canada), including Chandra Rai, Subas BK, Ashok Khadka, Govinda Siwakoti, etc., are trying to organize a talk programme at their location.

Rajendra Neupane and other friends at Victoria (British Columbia, Canada) are trying to organize a talk programme to mark this day.

Reading Revellers' Club at Vancouver (British Columbia, Canada) has selected Buddha, Kapilvastu and Lumbini as theme of their next meeting on December 5, 2009 to express its solidarity to Kapilvastu day.

Ram Kumar Shrestha – located at London (UK) is mobilizing his more than 500 friends through emails and social networking websites. He has already made the day popular by publishing materials online at http://nepalisamachar.com/?p=4975, http://www.nepalarab.com/articles_view.php?id=509 and http://nepalarab.com/press_view.php?id=112. He also has written to Ambassadors and Consul Generals requesting their solidarity in this programme.
Some friends decided to write poems for this programme. Relevant poems, songs, bhajans and articles most well come. I would like to request again to include the logo with them while keeping them as note. Use of logo will have lots of importance and one of the advantages is to make impact study job very easy and time saving.

North American Nepali Students' Association (NANSA) is also in process of expressing its solidarity to the programme and possibly involving in activities of that day.

"The people, and the people alone, are the motive force in the making of world history"

Home Remedies for High Blood Pressure

Hypertension or high blood pressure, as it is more commonly known, is regarded as a silent killer. It is a disease of the modern age. The fast pace of life and the mental and physical pressures caused by the increasingly industrialised and metropolitan environments have a role to play in the rise in blood pressure.

Blood pressure is measured with an instrument called sphygnomanometer in millimetres of mercury. The highest pressure reached during each heart beat is called systolic pressure, and the lowest between two beat is known as diastolic pressure. Most young adults have blood pressure around 120/80. It increases normally with age, even going upto 160/90.

*Symptoms of high blood pressure*

Pain at the back of the head and neck The first symptom of hypertension may appear as a pain at the back of the head and neck on waking in the morning, which soon disappears. Dizziness, Palpitations Some of the other common symptoms are dizziness, palpitations, pain in the region of the heart, frequent urination, nervous tension, fatigue, and difficulty in breathing.

*Causes of high blood pressure*

High Blood Pressure Symptoms, Causes, Remedy and Diet Stress and faulty life style The main causes of high blood pressure are stress and a faulty style of living. Smoking and an excessive intake of intoxicants, tea, coffee, and refined foods destroy the natural pace of life and prevent the expulsion of waste and poisonous matter from the body. Hardening of the arteries (atherosclerosis), obesity, and diabetes lead to hypertension. Excessive intake of common salt, and high fat diet Other causes of high blood pressure are an excessive intake of common table salt, and eating a high fat and low fibre diet.

*Home remedies for high blood pressure*

High Blood Pressure home remedies and natural cures, Questions and answers High Blood Pressure treatment using Garlic Garlic

is regarded as an effective means of lowering blood pressure. It is said to reduce spasms of the small arteries. It also slows down the pulse rate and modifies the heart rhythm, besides relieving the symptoms of dizziness,

numbness, shortness of breath, and the formation of gas within the digestive tract. It may be taken in the form of raw cloves or two to three capsules a day. High Blood Pressure treatment using Indian Gooseberry Indian

gooseberry is another effective remedy for high blood pressure. A tablespoon each of fresh indian gooseberry juice and honey mixed together should be taken every morning in this condition. High Blood Pressure treatment using Lemon Lemon is also regarded as a valuable food to control high blood pressure. It is a rich source of vitamin P which is found both in the juice and peel of the fruit. This vitamin is essential for preventing capillary fragility. High Blood Pressure treatment using Grapefruit Grapefruit is useful in preventing high blood pressure. The vitamin P content in the fruit is helpful in toning up the arteries. High Blood Pressure treatment using Watermelon Watermelon is another valuable safeguard against high blood pressure. A substance extracted from watermelon seeds is said to have a definite action in dilating the blood vessels, which results in lowering the blood pressure. The seeds, dried and roasted, should be taken in liberal quantities. High Blood Pressure treatment using Rice Rice has a low-fat, low-cholesterol, and low-salt content. It makes a perfect diet for those hypertensive persons who have been advised salt-restricted diets. Calcium in brown rice, in particular, soothes and relaxes the nervous system and helps relieve the symptoms of high blood pressure.

High Blood Pressure treatment using Potato Potatoes, specially in boiled form, are a valuable food for lowering blood pressure. When boiled with their skin, they absorb very little salt. Thus they can form a useful addition to a salt-free diet recommended for patients with high blood pressure. Potatoes are rich in potassium but not in sodium salts. The magnesium present in the vegetable exercises beneficial effects in lowering blood pressure. High Blood Pressure treatment using Parsley Parsley is very useful in high blood pressure. It contains elements, which help maintain the blood vessels, particularly, the capillaries. It keeps the arterial system in a healthy condition. It may be taken as a beverage by simmering 20 gm of fresh parsley leaves gently in 250 ml of water for a few minutes. This may be drunk several times daily. High Blood Pressure treatment using Rauwolfia Among the herbs, rauwolfia is the best remedy for high blood pressure. Alkaloids of this drug, which have a direct effect on hypertension, have been isolated and are being widely used by practitioners of modem medicine, but they have certain unpleasant side-effects which the drug, taken in raw form, does not have. Practitioners of the Indian system of medicine have, therefore, preferred to use the root of the drug in a powdered from. Half a teaspoon of this drug, taken thrice a day, is very effective in hypertension. High Blood Pressure treatment using Vegetable Juice Raw vegetable juices, especially carrot and spinach juices, taken separately or in combination, are also beneficial in the treatment of high blood pressure. If taken in combination, 300 ml of carrot juice and 200 ml of spinach juice should be mixed to make 500 ml or half a litre of the juice, and taken daily. If taken separately, one glass should be taken twice daily, morning and evening. High Blood Pressure treatment using Dietary Calcium and Potassium Recent studies have revealed an important link between dietary calcium and potassium and hypertension. Researchers have found that people who take potassium-rich diets have a low incidence of hypertension even if they do not control their salt intake. They have also found that people with hypertension do not seem to get much calcium in the form of dairy products. These two essential nutrients seem to help the body secrete excess sodium and are involved in important functions which control the working of the vascular system.

Potassium is found in abundance in fruits and vegetables, and calcium in dairy products. High blood pressure diet High Blood Pressure : Home Remedies suggested by users High Blood Pressure Diet Persons with high blood pressure should always follow a well-balanced routine of a proper diet, exercise, and rest. Diet is of primary importance. Meat and eggs, more than any other food, cause the blood pressure to rise. The pressure can be lowered and blood clotting diminished by increasing the consumption of fruits, reducing protein intake, and sticking to a vegetarian diet. A natural diet consisting of fresh fruits and vegetables instead of a traditional diet, helps to get rid of the toxins from the body. Salt should be avoided; in any case, it should not exceed more than three grams or about half a teaspoon per day. Other high blood pressure remedies Other High Blood Pressure treatment Persons suffering from hypertension must get at least eight hours of good sleep, because proper rest is a vital aspect of the treatment. Most important of all, the patient must avoid overstrain, worries, tension, anger, and haste. He or she must develop a calm and cheerful attitude and develop a contented frame of mind.

-- 

Sean Pun

Butwal, Nepal

Do U know da Meaning of ABCDEFG?

*Do you know the Meaning of,*
**
*ABCDEFG*
**
*A Boy Can Do Everthing For Gals*
**
*Reverse the meaning of,*
**
*GFEDCBA*
**
*Gals Forget Everthing Done & Catches new Boy Again *
**

Send by:
Sean Pun
Butwal, Nepal

Re: दिपावली को सुभकामना

From: Sean Pun
Subject: दिपावली को सुभकामना
To: nepalifren@yahoogroups.com
Date: Friday, 16 October, 2009, 7:06 AM


 *बगैचा को फुल जस्तो सधै भरी फुली रहोस**, **दिपावली को दियो जस्तै सधै तपाई को

जीवन मा** **खुशी को दिप जली रहोस खुशी र उमङ्ग ले सधै भरी साथी दियोस तपाई को

जीवन मा**, **यो आउदो** **दिपावली ले नया सब्द र संदेश बोकी ल्यावोस**, **हरपल

तपाई को इक्ष्य र आकंषा ले सगरमाथा** **को सिखर चुमी रहोस येही नै छ मेरो २०३३

साल दिपावली को सुभकामना** ** ***

*HAPPY DIPAWALI 2066*

बिहानी को मिरमिरे संगै

बिहानी को मिरमिरे संगै धान को बालामा शीत बोकी आउथियो दशैं
बाबु आमा को आशिरवाध बिना गयो यो पाली पनि त्यसै

सबैजना रमाउ थियौ, नाच थियौ, गाउथियौ दशैं को दिन
किन आँखा बाट आशु झर्छ सुनेर त्येही मंगल धुन

बाबु आमा को आशिरवाध अनि दाई को माया
आज मा संग छ मात्र आफ्नो छाया

दशैं पछि को तिहार हुन्थियो झिली र मिलि
सजाउने गर्थियौ घर लै सबै जना मिलि

सबै जना खेले भन्छन देउसी र भैलो
म चाही कुर्दै छु कहिले त्यो दिन आउछ भनि

आफ्नो सारा खुसि मिलाई गास्ने गर्थे मखमली
आज म याद गर्दै छु त्येही दिन झल्झली

एक्लो छु आज म छैन कसैको साथ
मन मेरो रोइनै रहयो हरेक दिन हरेक रात

आँखा रोए सम्हाल्न सक्थिये मन मैले सकिन
घर परिवार बाट टाढा बस्दा सकिने रहेनछ रमिना

खाली भयो यो पाली पनि हामी दाजु बहिनी को निधार
यसै गरी बितने भए न आए हुन्थियो मेरो लागि तिहार

Sent by:
Sean Pun
Butwal, Nepal

The words of the day's ...

All …

We all desire, but what distinguishes human beings is their intelligence. As  free human beings we can use our unique intelligence to understand our world and ourselves.

I love smiles. That is a fact. How to develop smiles? There are a variety of smiles. Some smiles are sarcastic. Some smiles are artificial - diplomatic smiles. These smiles do not produce satisfaction, but rather fear or

suspicion. But a genuine smile gives us hove, freshness.

It is said that if you want to know what you were doing in the past, look at your body now; if you want to know what will happen to you in the future, look at what your mind is doing now.

It is ironic that more serious problem emanate form the more industrially advanced societies. Science and technology have worked wonders in many field, but the basic human problem remain.

Buddhism explains that our normal sate of mind is such that our thoughts and emotions are wild and unruly, and since we lack the mental discipline needed to tame them, we are powerless to control them. As a result, they control us.

With the realization of one's own potential and self-confidence is very important. That sort of confidence potential. On that basis, human beings can transform themselves by increasing the good qualities and reducing the negative qualities.

Thank you
*Sean Pun*

Just For Laugh

*Wife: Akeli ayee hogi?*
*Husband: Tum ko kaise pata?*
*Wife: Uska Husband mere khawab mein aaya tha!*

*Girl & boy were siting alone, boy started touching the girl,*
*Girl: Dont touch me, all this only after marriage.*
*Boy: Ok call me when u r married.*

*Koi aankhon se baat kar leta hai,*
*
Koi aankhon mein mulaqat kar leta hai,*
*
Bara mushkil hota hai jawab dena,*
*
Jab koi english mein baat kar leta hai*

* *
* *

*Ek mandir mein buri neeyat wale gayeb ho jate thay.*
*
Amitab gaye woh gayab,*
*
Hirithik gaye woh gayab,*
*
Akshay gaye woh gayab,*
*
Jab Malika gai toh khud bhagwan gayab!*

* *
* *
*Woman: Panditji, mein apne ladke ka naam kya rakhoon?*
*
Pandit: Iska naam peter rakh do!*
*
Woman: Mera doosra ladkaa bhi hai, jo iskaa twin hai. Main uska naam kya rakhoon?*
*
Pandit: Uskaa naam repeter rakh do!*

* *

*World agar bina GIRLS ke ho jaaye toh kya hoga:*

*Galiya sunsan*
*
College viraan*
*
Duniya pareshan*
*
Tanha insaan*
*
Na Jaanu*
*
Na Jaan*
*
Har taraf bas*
*
JAI HANUMAN*

* *
* *
* *
* *
*Ek pagal: Mujhe katrina ne shaadi ke liye haan bol di hai.*
*Doosra pagal: Dikha di na kameeni ne auqat. Main bhi itni aasani se talaq nahi dene **wala* *.*

* *
* *
* *

*Mere Marne ke baad aey dost aansoo mat bahana,*
*
Agar yaad aaye meri toh seedhe upar chale aana,*
*
Agar waha main na dikhu toh samajh lena tu narag mein hai.*

--

Sean Pun

Sand and Stone(DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS)

*Sand and Stone!*

*TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING**
**THROUGH THE DESERT.
DURING SOME POINT OF THE
JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN
ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND
SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE
IN THE FACE.** *

* *

*THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED**
**WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT
SAYING ANYTHING,
WROTE IN THE SAND:

**TODAY MY BEST FRIEND**
**SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

**THEY KEPT ON WALKING,
UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,
WHERE THEY DECIDED
TO TAKE A BATH

THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN
SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE
MIRE ! AND STARTED DROWNING,
BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.

**AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM
THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE WROTE ON A STONE:**

**'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SAVED MY LIFE '.
**
**THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED
AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, 'AFTER I HURT YOU,
YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?'

THE FRIEND REPLIED
'WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US
WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN
IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF
FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.
BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES
SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,
WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE
WHERE NO WIND
CAN EVER ERASE IT.'

LEARN TO WRITE
YOUR HURTS IN
THE SAND AND TO
CARVE YOUR
BENEFITS IN STONE.

THEY SAY IT TAKES A
**MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL**
**PERSON,** **AN HOUR TO**
**APPRECIATE THEM,** ** A DAY**
**TO LOVE THEM,** BUT THEN
**AN ENTIRE LIFE
TO FORGET THEM. **

**SEND THIS TO
THE PEOPLE YOU'LL NEVER
FORGET. *

*I JUST DID.
**
**IF YOU DON'T
SEND IT TO ANYONE,
IT MEANS YOU'RE IN A
HURRY AND THAT YOU'VE
FORGOTTEN YOUR FRIENDS.*

*
**TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE!

**DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS
**YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT VALUE
WHO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE ! *

*AND IF I HAPPEN TO GET IT BACK, **
THEN I KNOW MY PLACE IN YOUR LIFE*

Sent by:
Sean Pun

( (¯`·._Wanna Laugh? Read this Mail_.·´¯))

*If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but,*
*if your father-in-law is a *
*poor man, it's *
*your*
*stupidity.*
*------------ --------- --------- --------- --------*
*Practice *
*makes perfect.....*
*But nobody's perfect..... .*
*so why *
*practice?*
*------------ --------- --------- --------- --------*
*If it's true *
*that we are here to help others,*
*then, what exactly are the others here *
*for?*
*------------ --------- --------- --------- --------*
*Since light *
*travels faster than sound,*
*people appear bright until you hear them *
*speak.*
*------------ --------- --------- --------- --------*
*Money is not *
*everything.*
*There's Mastercard & *
*Visa.*
*------------ --------- --------- --------- --------*
*One should love *
*animals.*
*They are so *
*tasty.*
*------------ --------- --------- --------- --------*
*Save *
*water.*
*Shower with your *
*girlfriend.*
*------------ --------- --------- --------- --------*
*Love thy *
*neighbor.*
*But don't get *
*caught.*
*------------ --------- --------- --------- --------*
*Behind every *
*successful man, there is a woman.*
*And behind every unsuccessful man, there *
*are two.*
*------------ --------- --------- --------- --------*
*Every man *
*should marry.*
*After all, happiness is not the only thing in *
*life.*
*------------ --------- --------- --------- --------*
*The wise never *
*marry.*
*and when they marry they become *
*otherwise.*
*------------ --------- --------- --------- --------*
*"Your *
*future depends on your dreams"*
*So go to *
*sleep*
*------------ --------- --------- --------- --------*
*There should be *
*a better way to start a day than*
*waking up every *
*morning*
*------------ --------- --------- --------- --------*
*"Hard work *
*never killed anybody"*
*But why take the risk *
*!*
*------------ --------- --------- --------- --------*
*"Work fascinates *
*me"*
*I can look at it for hours *
*------------ --------- --------- --------- --------*
*God made *
*relatives;*
*Thank God we can choose our *
*friends.*
*------------ --------- --------- --------- --------*
*The more you *
*learn, the more you know,*
*The more you know, the more you forget*
*The more *
*you forget, the less you know*
*So.. why *
*learn.*
*------------ --------- --------- --------- --------*

--

Sean Pun
Butwal, Nepal

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

wish you a happy dashain 2066

विजया दशमी २०६6 को पावन अवसरमा देश तथा विदेशमा
रहनुभएका सम्पूर्ण नेपालीहरुमा सुस्वास्थ्य,दिर्घायु तथा
प्रगतिको हार्दिक मंगलमय शुभ-कामना ।

विजया दशमी २०६6 को हार्दिक मंगलमय शुभकामना !!!

जमरा रहोस् कानमा, खुशियाली रहोस मनमा, सुख रहोस् जिन्दगीमा,
शान्ति आओस् देशमा उदय होस्, भाग्यको सुरुआत होस् सफलताको,
अन्त्य होस् दुःख,बेदना,रोग आदि...को, निधारमा रहोस् टीका
साथमा आर्शिवादको ढिका यहि छ शुभ विजया दशमीको
शुभ - कामना !!!

यहीँ विजया दशमी २०६6  साल को शुखद उपलक्ष्यमा हजुर प्रति सु-स्वास्थ,दिर्घायु अनि प्रगतिको लागी हार्दिक मङ्गलमय शुभ-कामना ब्यक्त गर्दछु।!!!.....

बिजया दशमी २०६6 सालको शुभकामना !!! टिका होस् निधारमा, जमर होस् कान मा, सुख होस् परिवार मा, शान्ती होस् देश मा, दसैं मा खुशी को बास होस्, सत्रु को नाश होस्, हरेक परिक्षा मा फर्स्ट होस्, सुन चन्दी को रास होस्, हात मा 21 पत्ती को तास होस्, र घर मा मासु र बियर को बास होस्, पुरा होस् मनकामना यही छ विजय दशमी २०६४ सालको शुभकामना !!!.....

विजया दशमी २०६6 को हार्दिक मंगलमय शुभकामना !!!

जमरा रहोस् कानमा, खुशियाली रहोस मनमा, सुख रहोस् जिन्दगीमा,
शान्ति आओस् देशमा उदय होस्, भाग्यको सुरुआत होस् सफलताको,
अन्त्य होस् दुःख,बेदना,रोग आदि...को, निधारमा रहोस् टीका
साथमा आर्शिवादको ढिका यहि छ शुभ विजया दशमीको
शुभ - कामना !!!

Recent Nepali law against domestic Violence

Hello,
Recently Nepalese parliament passed a law against domestic violence. Last week 'women security pressure group' a prominent Nepali civil society group organize a semiar on this legislation. The seminar was chaired by Hon.
Sahana Pradhan. I presented a paper on it. I would like to share my paper with you. Hopefully you will find it useful and intresting.. Any suggestion and comment will be most welcome. Thanks

Warm regards
Dinesh Tripathi
Advocate, Supreme Court
Cell 9851036307

Faith

This is 'Faith'. This dog was born on Christmas Eve in the year 2002. He was born with 3 legs - 2 healthy behind legs and 1 abnormal front leg which need to be amputated. He of course could not walk when he was born. Even his mother did not want him.

His first owner also did not think that he would survive. Therefore, he was thinking of 'putting him to sleep'.

By this time, his present owner, Jude Stringfellew, met him and wanted to take care of him. She was determined to teach and train this dog to walk by himself. Therefore she named him 'Faith'. In the beginning, she put Faith on a surfing board to let him feel the movements. Later she used peanut butter on a spoon as a lure and reward for him to stand up and jump around. Even the other dog at home also helped to encourage him to walk.

Amazingly, only after 6 months, like a miracle, Faith learned to balance on his 2 hind legs and jumped to move forward... After further training in the snow, he now can walk like a human being.

Faith loves to walk around now. No matter where he goes, he just attracts all the people around him. He is now becoming famous on the international scene. He has appeared On various newspapers and TV shows.

There is even one book entitled 'With a little faith' being published about him.

He was even considered to appear in one of Harry Potter movies.

His present owner Jude Stringfellew has given up her teaching post and plans to take him around the world to teach that even without a perfect body, one can have a perfect soul'.

In life there are always undesirable things. Perhaps one will feel better if one changes the point of view from another direction.

I hope this message will bring fresh & new ways of thinking to everyone and that everyone can appreciate and be thankful for each beautiful day that follows. Faith is the continual demonstration of the Strength of Life. 

A small request: All you are asked to do is keep this Circulating.

From:

Sean Pun

*KBR,* Inc

APO. AE 09391

Joint Base Balad

" I want to walk on rains, So no one can see my Tears "

June 15: Global Day of Action Against Indian Aggression in Nepal

Dear all,
Namaste! 
 
Let's go together for the "Global Day of Action Against Indian Aggression in Nepal"
 
In Solidarity,
Subas BK

--- On Mon, 6/8/09, Abi Sharma <abiksharma@gmail.com> wrote:

From: Abi Sharma <abiksharma@gmail.com>
Subject: June 15: Global Day of Action Against Indian Aggression in Nepal
To: pnefacc@googlegroups.com
Received: Monday, June 8, 2009, 12:17 AM

Dear all,

Appended below please find the public notice of the protest. Please give it a wide circulation. Let's make sure our voices be heard in every corner of this planet. Friends may use this notice for their respective rallies.

In solidarity,
Abi
For PNEFA

India Hands off Nepal
 
 
Vancouver Rally
 
Join Nepalis and friends of Nepal Around the Globe as part of a
 
Global Day of Action Against Indian Aggression in Nepal
 
Monday, June 15, 2009
 
At Noon
 
In front of Consulate General of India Office
325 Howe Street, Vancouver, Canada
 
 

The Indian Border Security Force (IBSF) last week encroached on Nepali lands and committed atrocities along the border areas of western district of Dang. These actions resulted in the displacement of more than 6000 people from their home villages. Cases of alleged rapes and disappearance have also been reported.  What lies behind this attack on Nepali sovereignty? In 1816 Nepal was forced to sign a treaty called The Sugauli Treaty (also known as the Anglo-Nepal Treaty) by the victorious British colonial power.  Due to the unequal terms of this treaty, Nepal lost about one third of its territory to the British Raj. The "Brown Sahibs" inherited the Raj in 1947, and since that time have grabbed Nepali lands at their will, violating not only the UN Charter but also even the 1950 Treaty of Peace and Friendship 1950, a treaty which heavily favours Indian domination in Nepal in the first place. Time and again, the IBSF has encroached Nepali territory and
committed atrocities all along three sides of Nepali border: from Jhapa in the east all the way to Darchula in the west, where they even have set up a permanent military base. The same pattern -- border encroachment, forceful displacement of Nepali villagers, shifting of border markers -- into the encroached Nepali land in Susta and Maheshpur in the south, and now in the border villages of Dang, lays bare the expansionist policy of Indian rulers. India has already encroached about 59,970 hectares of Nepali territory at 54 points in 21 districts. But if the areas affected by the unilateral activities of our southern neighbor such as construction of dams and irrigation projects are considered as encroachment, the number increases to 85 points. All these cases are well documented. This latest encroachment is part of that same policy of Indian expansionism. Interestingly, this blatant attack on the national sovereignty of Nepal took place soon after Madhav
Kumar Nepal, a loser from two constituencies in last year's Constituent Assembly (CA) elections, was declared the prime minister of Nepal. It is no surprise that his government has been silent on these attacks: it is an India-installed puppet government formed from an unethical alliance between regressive forces and those unwilling to challenge the status quo. The newly installed foreign minister, Sujata Koirala – another loser in the democratic CA election – went so far as to claim that there is no issue of land encroachment. Her words parroted the press release of the Indian Embassy in Kathmandu, issued on the same day, that categorically denied any encroachments, calling the concerns of patriotic Nepalis mere fabricated rumors.  Shame!
 
 
 

Join us at the protest rally, help say NO to blatant Indian expansionism in Nepal
 
For more information, please contact Abi Sharma (604)506-9259

--~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Progressive Nepalis Forum in Americas" group.
To post to this group, send email to pnefacc@googlegroups.com
To unsubscribe from this group, send email to pnefacc+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com
For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.ca/group/pnefacc?hl=en
-~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---

__________________________________________________________
The new Internet Explorer® 8 - Faster, safer, easier. Optimized for Yahoo! Get it Now for Free! at http://downloads.yahoo.com/ca/internetexplorer/

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Body Hair Removal Tips

*Body Hair Removal Tips*

If you desire to have a smooth, hairless skin all over your body without any pain and harm to you the following hair removal means will be of great interest for you.

*Plucking*

This technique works with the help of tweezers. A specialist stretches the skin, grips the hair close to the root, pulling it out. The effect is achieved for 3 to 8 weeks. One of its advantages is its low cost. Hair growth will stop within one to four months. Thus you achieve soft and smooth skin.

However this hair removal method has its minuses. Firstly it requires much time; only one hair is pulled out for one time. Secondly, it may pain. That is why it is better to use plucking only on small areas, for instance eyebrows, upper lip, and chin areas. In addition this techniques results temporary red bumps.

*Depilatory Cream and Lotion*

Depilatory creams and special lotions remove hair from the surface of the skin. The effect is achieved for several days to 2 weeks The advantages of this treatment are as follows. You may apply it by yourself in home conditions. It is quick to do and quite cheap. It is better to use depilatories on the leg, underarm, and bikini areas. Special depilatory creams may be also used on the face and chin. The minuses of this technique are as follows. Some people dislike the smell. You may get an allergy due to chemical component included in the cream. As a result you may suffer from a rash or inflammation

*Waxing*

Here your spread a sticky wax on the area of unwanted hair. Then you cover this waxed area with a cloth strip rip it off in no time. Thus, you manage to take the hair root along with dead skin cells. Waxing can be made either at a salon or at home. The effect is achieved for 3 to 6 weeks Its advantages are the following. This treatment makes the waxed area smooth. The hair growth after this method looks lighter and it is not as

noticeable as it is does after other treatments. One of the minuses is the pain that a person feels once the undesired hair is ripped off. In addition, this treatment may cause temporary redness, inflammation, and bumps. If you use the service of a salon it will be not so cheap. Note, diabetics cannot apply this method of hair removal due to their susceptibility to infection. In addition it is not for teenagers who have skin irritation from sunburn would.

*Laser Hair Removal*

The laser hair removal gives good results if applied for people with light skin and dark hair. The effect is achieved for about 6 months. A big advantage of this technique is that is long lasting. In addition, at the same time it can be applied to large areas of skin.

The big disadvantage is in its high cost (one treatment procedure may cost $500 or even more). This expensive method of hair removal may also result inflammation and redness.

*Prescription Treatments*

One of the effective prescription treatments is a facial cream called 'Eflornithine'. It should be applied two times per day until the hair becomes softer and lighter. This treatment may also cause skin irritation and acne.

--
Sent by:
Sean Pun
Butwal, Nepal
" I want to walk on rains, So no one can see my Tears "

HOW TO Stop Body Odor Naturally

HOW TO Stop Body Odor Naturally... 

Millions of people suffer from embarrassing body odor. Fortunately, you don't need to spend a lot to solve the problem. Natural, 'green', cheap baking soda can solve your personal odor issue!

Instructions 

Step 1 - DEODORANT

If your deodorant isn't able to stop body odor effectively for you, you don't have to buy a more expensive brand. Simply apply a slightly heavier coat of deodorant than normal. Then, apply baking soda on top of that layer, like you were applying baby powder. Be careful not to inhale baking soda. It's not toxic, but any lung contaminate can result in respiratory problems. 

Step 2 - BAD BREATH

Try adding baking soda to your toothpaste, or purchase a toothpaste with baking soda as an ingredient. You can also mix half a teaspoon of baking soda with your mouthwash and use it to swish and gargle. 

Step 3 - HAIR

Your hair traps odors and oils produced by your scalp. In fact, more body heat is released through your head than through any other part of your body. These oils not only look bad, but carry an unpleasant odor too. 

Try adding a touch of baking powder to your grooming routine. In the shower, after washing and conditioning, mix a small amount of baking soda (2 tbs approximately) with enough water to create a paste. Apply this paste to your hair and massage in thoroughly. Allow to sit for 3 minutes, then rinse. Your hair may feel slick even after rinsing. This is because a small amount of baking soda will cling to your hair, helping to absorb odors throughout your day.

***NOTE*** If you are in a situation where showering is not an option, baking soda can be applied directly to your hair and combed through for a similar effect. Do not mix the baking soda with any water. Again, be careful not to inhale baking soda. 

Step 4 - SHOES

You are probably aware that baking soda is a common additive to innersoles and other shoe inserts. However, you don't need to purchase the insert to have the same odor fighting effects.

Pour enough baking soda into your shoes to coat the inner sides. Spread the baking soda on all inner sides of the shoe as though you were coating a baking pan with flour. Allow soda several hours to absorb odors. Then, turn shoe upside down over a trash bin and pat with your hand to remove excess powder. Repeat as often as you need to keep up with foot odor. 

Step 5 - LAUNDRY

Adding baking soda to your laundry will help stop body odor. This method works best with natural fibers like cotton, denim blue jeans, linen. 

WASH METHOD ~ Wash clothes as normal with regular detergent, but add 1/4 cup baking soda to the wash.

DRYER METHOD ~ Wash clothes as usual. Moisten a clean washcloth, sprinkle with 2 tablespoons of baking soda. Add the washcloth to the load in your dryer. Dry as usual. ***This method works best for ongoing prevention of body odor*** 

Step 6 - BATH

There are many benefits to adding soaking in a a baking soda bath. It will help relieve skin irritation, moisten your skin, relieve itch. It will also help fight odor.

Add 2 tablespoons of baking soda to a comfortably warm bath.

Step 7 - HAND ODOR

If you are one of many people who find that any odor your hands come in contact with is difficult to wash away, baking soda is the answer. Baking soda is highly effective in removing unpleasant smells like onion and garlic. Simply wet your hands, apply baking soda liberally, scrub, rinse. Odor is gone.

Tips & Warnings

- If skin irritation develops, discontinue use of baking soda.

- If you have existing skin conditions, consult your doctor before using baking soda in any of the methods described in this article.

- Do not expose eyes to baking soda.

- Do not inhale baking soda.

( (¯`·._INTERESTING FACTS_.·´¯))

*
 1. All the planets in our solar system rotate anticlockwise, except Venus. It is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
2. Hummingbirds are the only animal that can also fly backwards.
3. Insects do not make noises with their voices. The noise of bees, mosquitoes and other buzzing insects is caused by rapidly moving their wings.
4. The cockroach is the fastest animal on 6 legs covering a meter a second.
5. The word "listen" contains the same letters as the word "silent".
6. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.
7. A zebra is white with black stripes.
8. The whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.
9. A hippopotamus can run faster than a man.
10. It is impossible to lick your elbow. ( I know you gonna try this !!!)
11. A snail can sleep for 3 years.
12. The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start
13. In 1883 the explosion of the volcano Krakatoa put so much dust into the earth's atmosphere that sunsets appeared green and the moon appeared blue around the world for almost two years.
14. "Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.
15. Twenty-Four- Karat Gold is not pure gold since there is a small amount of copper in it. Absolutely pure gold is so soft that it can be molded with the hands.

**
**
*
sent by:
Sean Pun
KBR, Inc
APO. AE 09391
Joint Base Balad
" I want to walk on rains, So no one can see my Tears "

( (¯`·._The Secret Of Happiness_.·´¯))

The old man shuffled slowly into the restaurant. With head tilted, and shoulders bent forward, he leaned on his trusty cane with each unhurried step.

His tattered cloth jacket, patched trousers, worn out shoes, and warm personality made him stand out from the usual Saturday morning breakfast crowd. Unforgettable were his pale blue eyes that sparkled like diamonds, large rosy cheeks, and thin lips held in a tight, steady smile.

He stopped, turned with his whole body, and winked at a little girl seated by the door. She flashed a big grin right back at him. A young waitress named Mary watched him shuffle toward a table by the window.

Mary ran over to him, and said, "Here, Sir. Let me give you a hand with that chair." Without saying a word, he smiled and nodded a thank you. She pulled the chair away from the table. Steadying him with one arm, she helped him move in front of the chair, and get comfortably seated. Then she scooted the table up close to him, and leaned his cane against the table where he could reach it.

In a soft, clear voice he said, "Thank you, Miss. And bless you for your kind gestures."
"You're welcome, Sir." She replied. "And my name is Mary. I'll be back in a moment, and if you need anything at all in the mean time, just wave at me!"

After he had finished a hearty meal of pancakes, bacon, and hot lemon tea, Mary brought him the change from his ticket. He left it lay. She helped him up from his chair, and out from behind the table. She handed him his cane, and walked with him to the front door.
Holding the door open for him, she said, "Come back and see us, Sir!"
He turned with his whole body, winked a smile, and nodded a thank you. "You are very kind." he said softly.

When Mary went to clean his table, she almost fainted. Under his plate she found a business card, and a note scribbled on a napkin. Under the napkin was a one hundred dollar bill. The note on the napkin read...
*"Dear Mary, I respect you very much, and you respect yourself too. It shows by the way you treat others. You have found the secret of happiness. Your kind gestures will shine through those who meet you." *
The man she had waited on was the owner of the restaurant where she worked. This was the first time that she, or any of his employees had ever seen him in person.
**
*Note: This story is based on actual events experienced by a friend from St. Paul, Minnesota. The note is the exact wording on the napkin that she has kept in her scrap book for fifteen years. When a friend forwarded The Secret of Happiness to me I actually felt Happy reading it. Now that you have it, its your turn to do a good deed. Forward it on to all your friends and spread the happiness around. Believe me, its really really
needed.

sent by:
 Sean Pun
KBR, Inc
APO. AE 09391
Joint Base Balad
" I want to walk on rains, So no one can see my Tears "

BEAUTY TIPS

1. Easy & Quick Solution to Dandruff Dissolve 2 aspirins in any dandruff shampoo and then wash your hair. Results are amazing dandruff.

2. Make Your Own Herbal Hair Oil (For dandruff & strong hair)

* Take a bunch of mehendi leaves along with amla pieces (either fresh or dried ones which have been soaked overnight).

* Grind these coarsely together.

* Now take about 150 ml of coconut oil in a cooking vessel (kadai) and add the paste to it.

* Simmer on low flame till all moisture evaporates.

* Cool and strain use regularly.

* Keeps dandruff away and also makes hair roots strong.

3. For a Glowing Face

Make a paste of 2 table spoons of cream (malai), 1½ table spoons of Ata (wheat flour ) and few drops of lime juice. Daily apply this paste on your face for 5 minutes, then remove it and wash.

[Note : For oily skin use besan (gram flour) instead of Ata.]

Try to think positive, take proper sleep and drink lots of water certainly no one can look more charming.

4. For Chicken Pox Marks

Kachha doodh with chiraunji (bheegi hui) mix it well and make a paste, apply it on chicken pox marks, they will disappear in few days.

5. For Best Hair

Massage hair with warm coconut oil an hour before washing. Take some petals of hibiscus and grind it in the mixer. Apply this paste to your hair and then rinse it. For better result you can boil a few hibiscus flowers in coconut oil. Filter this oil and use it to control hair loss and thinning, you can also use Jaborandi oil which is again an extract of hibiscus flower.

6. Tomato Wrap

Make a puree of 4 tomatoes. Soak some rice for 30 minutes and grind it coarsely. Add this to the pureed tomatoes. Apply this mixture all over the body and leave it on for about 15 minutes. Bathe with warm water; this is a good scrub recipe for oily skin.

7. Hair Care

Problem: Excessive hair loss or getting early grey hairs.

Remedy: Soak some methi seeds in night and in the morning make the paste of the seeds and apply it to your scalp. After 1½ - 2 hrs rinse it with plane water. This will strengthen your hair and make them dark and shiny.

8. Skin care

Problem: If your face is dry and rough..

Remedy: Take equal amount each of Melon, Pumpkin, Cucumber and Watermelon and make a paste of these. Then blend it with milk cream and apply it on your. After 1 hr rinse your face with plane water.

Problem: Sunburn.

Remedy: Mix 1 teaspoon of Besan with 2 teaspoon of curd and apply it on your face. Let it remain on the face for ½ hrs. Rinse with plane water. Helps in curing sunburns.

9. Skin Tips

Improve your complexion

Mix equal amounts of Cucumber juice and Lime juice and apply them to your face before taking bath; wait for at least 10 mins. Your complexion will improve.

10. Household Tips for your skins– Using Tomatoes

Tomatoes are Anti-Oxidant hence including tomatoes in your daily diet will make your skin Wrinkle Free. And using the paste of one day old curd with a tomato and applying it to your skin soft. Also, if you skin is oily then applying theits pulp on your face for 15 min. then rinse your face with warm water. This will absorb extra oil from your skin and improve your complexion.

11. Beauty Tips

a. After the Mehendi dries, remove it and apply some Vicks Rub on your hands, let it be there for 5-6 hours. The color of your Mehendi will darken.

b. Remedy: Mix 1 teaspoon of Besan with 2 teaspoon of curd and apply it on your face. Let it remain on the face for ½ hrs. Rinse with plane water. Helps us during sunburns..

c. After removing the skin of the Cucumber and making a paste of the cucumber with raw milk and applying it on your skin will improve your complexion.

Happy new year 2066

बिहानी उज्यालोलाई पर्खदै अधेरी रातमा रुमलिए पनि, झरनालाई नियालेर तिर्खाइमा तडपिए पनि,शाहासको बाटो कहिलै परिवर्तन नहोस् यात्रा निरन्तर चलिरहोस् हुरिबतासको रहर जति बेगले चले पनि,कर्म को दियो अटुट बलिरहोस्!

Happy new year 2066
sent by:
babu raja

Jokes to Make You Laugh

* Make You Laugh *

 BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning Kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the Cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear
And comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both
Ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andrew says I'm ugly.What
Do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and
No one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again
Yesterday".

2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun
Or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
<wbr>com/index.jokes-to-make-you-;Teacher
: "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need It but the sun gives us light only in the day time
When we don't need it".

3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on
Talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

5) My father is so old that when he was in school,
History was called current affairs.

6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father
Is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father That I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared,
Past year's performance repeated".

8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a Donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be Showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
Prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
Cook".

10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering Doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show That nine out of ten people die of the disease you Have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others All died".

11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married On the same day and at the same time."

12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped Down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?" One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is
hand.