Freq. Tp | Channel Name | Provider Name | Video Encryption | SR-FEC SID-VPID | NID-TID Audio | ||
3655 H tp 1A | Image Channel | Telestar 10 | A | DVB | 3214-3/4 1 - 4194 | 235-176 4195 | |
4056 H tp 11A | Telestar 10 | A | DVB | 3214-3/4 2 - 33 | 65535-1 36 | ||
11727 V tp 50 | Nepali TV | Hotbird 8 | A | F | 13725 | 2851 | 2852 |
11785 H tp 53 | Galaxy TV | Hotbird 8 | A | F | 4 | 2002 | 3002 Ne |
3721 V tp 1VS | Sagarmatha TV | Hotbird 8 | A | DVB | 3333-3/4 1 - 4194 | 235-176 419. | |
3432 V tp 1VE | Thaicom 5 | AU | DVB | 6667-3/4 | 1-1 | ||
3432 V tp 1VE | Thaicom 5 | A | F | 1 | 257 | 258 | |
3432 V tp 1VE | Thaicom 5 | A | F | 2 | 513 | 514 |
Blog, News, Views, Events, Information, Knowledge, Vlog, Lok Sewa Aayog, Public Service Commission (PSC), Questions & Answers (QS), Old is god, Question Bank
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Jan 16, 2008
Nepali TV channels frequency rate
Jan 14, 2008
Manchester & Newcastle United Q&A Jokes
Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
A: Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.
Q: What has Old Trafford on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison?
A: They are both full of cockneys trying to get out.
Q: How many Man U fans does it take to pave up a driveway?
A: Depends how thin you slice them.
Q: What would you call a pregnant Man United fan?
A: A dope carrier.
Q: What do you call a Manchester United fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
Q: How many Man United fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 560,001. That is 1 to change it, 60,000 to say they’ve been changing it for years and 500,000 to buy the replica kit.
Q: What doManchester
A: Their personalities.
Q: What do Beckham and Posh Spice both have in common?
A: Both are fucking bad singers!!!
Q: How many Man U supporters does it take to stop a moving Bus?
A: Never enough.
Q: What’s the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn’t think he’s Alex Ferguson.
Q: What do you call a Mancunian with no arms and legs?
A: Trustworthy.
Q: What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Man Utd. fan?
A: Skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: What’s the difference between a Man-U fan and a Vibrator?
A: A Man U fan is a real dick.
Q: Why can’t you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?
A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Highbury.
A: Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.
Q: What has Old Trafford on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison?
A: They are both full of cockneys trying to get out.
Q: How many Man U fans does it take to pave up a driveway?
A: Depends how thin you slice them.
Q: What would you call a pregnant Man United fan?
A: A dope carrier.
Q: What do you call a Manchester United fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
Q: How many Man United fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 560,001. That is 1 to change it, 60,000 to say they’ve been changing it for years and 500,000 to buy the replica kit.
Q: What do
A: Their personalities.
Q: What do Beckham and Posh Spice both have in common?
A: Both are fucking bad singers!!!
Q: How many Man U supporters does it take to stop a moving Bus?
A: Never enough.
Q: What’s the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn’t think he’s Alex Ferguson.
Q: What do you call a Mancunian with no arms and legs?
A: Trustworthy.
Q: What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Man Utd. fan?
A: Skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: What’s the difference between a Man-U fan and a Vibrator?
A: A Man U fan is a real dick.
Q: Why can’t you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?
A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Highbury.
Newcastle
Q: Why do so many housewives love Newcastle
A: Cos they stay on top for ages and then come second.
Q: What is black and white, black and white and black and white?
A: ANewcastle
Q: Why do they call Bobby Robson Hitler?
A: Because he can’t win ineurope either.
Q: What’s the difference between the Toon keeper and a taxi driver?
A: A taxi driver will only let in four at a time.
Q: Why do Geordie Supporters have Moustaches?
A: So they can look like their Mothers.
Q: What do Toon fans and laxatives have in common?
A: Both irritate the absolute crap out of you.
Q: What’s the ideal weight for aNewcastle
A: 3 pounds…that’s including the Urn.
A: Cos they stay on top for ages and then come second.
Q: What is black and white, black and white and black and white?
A: A
Q: Why do they call Bobby Robson Hitler?
A: Because he can’t win in
Q: What’s the difference between the Toon keeper and a taxi driver?
A: A taxi driver will only let in four at a time.
Q: Why do Geordie Supporters have Moustaches?
A: So they can look like their Mothers.
Q: What do Toon fans and laxatives have in common?
A: Both irritate the absolute crap out of you.
Q: What’s the ideal weight for a
A: 3 pounds…that’s including the Urn.
Ronaldo, Figo, Beckham, Euro 2004 Joke
Ronaldo, Luis Figo and David Beckham are standing in Heaven before the throne of God.
God looks at them and says; “And so here you are to face your Lord and maker. I shall ask each of you a question.”
Addressing Ronaldo first he asks, “Ronaldo, one of the world’s greatest football players, what is it that you believe brought you here before me?”
Ronaldo looks God in the eye and says passionately, “I believe football to be the food of life. Nothing else brings such unbridled joy to so Many people, from the slums of Rio to the bright lights ofMadrid
God smiles and offers Ronaldo a seat to his left.
He then turns to Luis Figo, “And similarly you, Luis, a hero to so many, what do you think it was brought you to my throne?”
Figo stands tall and proud, “I believe courage, honor and passion are the fundamentals to life and I’ve spent my whole playing career providing a living embodiment of these commitments.”
God, moved by the passion of his speech offers Figo a seat to his right. He then turns to Beckham, “And you, David. Presumably you just want your ball back?”
God looks at them and says; “And so here you are to face your Lord and maker. I shall ask each of you a question.”
Addressing Ronaldo first he asks, “Ronaldo, one of the world’s greatest football players, what is it that you believe brought you here before me?”
Ronaldo looks God in the eye and says passionately, “I believe football to be the food of life. Nothing else brings such unbridled joy to so Many people, from the slums of Rio to the bright lights of
God smiles and offers Ronaldo a seat to his left.
He then turns to Luis Figo, “And similarly you, Luis, a hero to so many, what do you think it was brought you to my throne?”
Figo stands tall and proud, “I believe courage, honor and passion are the fundamentals to life and I’ve spent my whole playing career providing a living embodiment of these commitments.”
God, moved by the passion of his speech offers Figo a seat to his right. He then turns to Beckham, “And you, David. Presumably you just want your ball back?”
Arsenal Q&A Jokes
Q: At Highbury, what is the difference between the words “disciplinary” and “football”?
A: “Disciplinary” is the only one associated with the word “action”.
Q: How come Arsenal fans don’t fall asleep during a match?
A: The smell of their ground keeps them awake.
Q: How do you make an Arsenal fan’s eyes light up?
A: Shine a torch in his ears.
Q: How do the braincells of an Arsenal fan die?
A: Alone.
Q: How long has Tony Adams played for Arsenal?
A: Donkeys years.
Q: How many Arsenal players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eleven - one to change it and ten to play the offside trap.
Q: What do Arsenal fans do after Arsenal wins the Champions League?
A: They put away their Play Stations.
Q: What do you call 100 Arsenal supporters at the bottom of a cliff?
A: A good start.
Q: What do you call a dead Gunner Fan in a closet?
A: Last year’s winner of the hide and seek contest.
Q: What do you call a fly inside an Arsenal fans head?
A: A Space Invader.
Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan in a 3 bedroom semi?
A: A burglar.
Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan in a suit?
A: The accused.
Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan that does well on an IQ test?
A: A cheat.
Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
Q: What do you call the Arsenal team standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: What do you say to a Gunners supporter with a good looking bird on his arm?
A: Nice tattoo.
Q: What do you say to an Arsenal fan with a job?
A: “Can I have a Big Mac!”
Q: What does a 3 pin plug and Arsenal Football Club have in common?
A: They’re both useless inEurope .
Q: What have Paul Merson and a can of Coca Cola got in common?
A: Their both red and white and full of coke.
Q: What is the difference between an Arsenal fan and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.
Q: What is the difference between Arsenal and a cup of tea?
A: The tea stays in the cup longer.
Q: What is the difference between Paul Merson and a former Arsenal player, surname George?
A: One Charlie shoots, the other shoots Charlie.
Q: What is the difference between Paul Merson and the rest of the Arsenal team?
A: One takes dope and the rest are dopes.
Q: What is the highest selling item in the Arsenal souvenir shop?
A. Pro-plus (sleep repellant).
Q: What is the second highest selling item in the Arsenal souvenir shop?
A: Horlicks.
Q: Where do Arsenal players / fans go on holiday?
A: (Answer needed, apply within).
Q: Where do Arsenal players / fans go to die?
A: (Answer needed, apply within).
Q: Why is Arsenal going to sack Wenger?
A: Because he keeps putting Seaman into the Youth team.
Q: Why did the Arsenal fan get sacked from the M & M factory?
A: He kept throwing out the W’s.
Q: Why did God make Arsenal supporters smelly?
A: So blind people could laugh at them too.
Q: Why do Arsenal fans whistle on the toilet?
A: So they know which end to wipe.
Q: Why do Arsenal men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
Q: Why do housewives love Arsenal?
A: Because they stay on top for ages and come second.
Q: Why do people take an instant dislike to Arsenal?
A: It saves time.
Q: Why is the pitch at Highbury so green?
A: Because they keep putting lots of shit on it.
Q: Why should you not allow Arsenal fans a coffee break at work?
A: Because it takes too long to retrain them.
Q: You’re trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Arsenal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Arsenal Fan. twice.
A: “Disciplinary” is the only one associated with the word “action”.
Q: How come Arsenal fans don’t fall asleep during a match?
A: The smell of their ground keeps them awake.
Q: How do you make an Arsenal fan’s eyes light up?
A: Shine a torch in his ears.
Q: How do the braincells of an Arsenal fan die?
A: Alone.
Q: How long has Tony Adams played for Arsenal?
A: Donkeys years.
Q: How many Arsenal players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eleven - one to change it and ten to play the offside trap.
Q: What do Arsenal fans do after Arsenal wins the Champions League?
A: They put away their Play Stations.
Q: What do you call 100 Arsenal supporters at the bottom of a cliff?
A: A good start.
Q: What do you call a dead Gunner Fan in a closet?
A: Last year’s winner of the hide and seek contest.
Q: What do you call a fly inside an Arsenal fans head?
A: A Space Invader.
Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan in a 3 bedroom semi?
A: A burglar.
Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan in a suit?
A: The accused.
Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan that does well on an IQ test?
A: A cheat.
Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
Q: What do you call the Arsenal team standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: What do you say to a Gunners supporter with a good looking bird on his arm?
A: Nice tattoo.
Q: What do you say to an Arsenal fan with a job?
A: “Can I have a Big Mac!”
Q: What does a 3 pin plug and Arsenal Football Club have in common?
A: They’re both useless in
Q: What have Paul Merson and a can of Coca Cola got in common?
A: Their both red and white and full of coke.
Q: What is the difference between an Arsenal fan and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.
Q: What is the difference between Arsenal and a cup of tea?
A: The tea stays in the cup longer.
Q: What is the difference between Paul Merson and a former Arsenal player, surname George?
A: One Charlie shoots, the other shoots Charlie.
Q: What is the difference between Paul Merson and the rest of the Arsenal team?
A: One takes dope and the rest are dopes.
Q: What is the highest selling item in the Arsenal souvenir shop?
A. Pro-plus (sleep repellant).
Q: What is the second highest selling item in the Arsenal souvenir shop?
A: Horlicks.
Q: Where do Arsenal players / fans go on holiday?
A: (Answer needed, apply within).
Q: Where do Arsenal players / fans go to die?
A: (Answer needed, apply within).
Q: Why is Arsenal going to sack Wenger?
A: Because he keeps putting Seaman into the Youth team.
Q: Why did the Arsenal fan get sacked from the M & M factory?
A: He kept throwing out the W’s.
Q: Why did God make Arsenal supporters smelly?
A: So blind people could laugh at them too.
Q: Why do Arsenal fans whistle on the toilet?
A: So they know which end to wipe.
Q: Why do Arsenal men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
Q: Why do housewives love Arsenal?
A: Because they stay on top for ages and come second.
Q: Why do people take an instant dislike to Arsenal?
A: It saves time.
Q: Why is the pitch at Highbury so green?
A: Because they keep putting lots of shit on it.
Q: Why should you not allow Arsenal fans a coffee break at work?
A: Because it takes too long to retrain them.
Q: You’re trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Arsenal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Arsenal Fan. twice.
Liverpool Q&A Jokes
Q: Why will Liverpool never win the League?
A: They keep scoring Owen goals.
Q: How manyLiverpool fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Yeah, as if they have electricity inLiverpool .
Q: What’s is the difference between Pamela Anderson and theLiverpool goal?
A: Pam’s only got two tits in front of her.
Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an intelligentLiverpool supporter and an old drunk are walking down the street together when simultaneously they each spot a fifty quid note. Who gets it?
A: The old drunk, of course - the other 3 are mythical creatures.
Q: What do Pool Fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 2.000.000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q: How can you tell a level headedLiverpool supporter?
A: He dribbles from both sides of his mouth - at the same time.
Q: What do you get if you cross aLiverpool fan with a pig?
A: Thick bacon.
Q: What do you get if you cross a Monkey with a Liverpudlian?
A: Nothing. The monkeys are far too clever to screw a Liverpudlian.
Q: What is the difference between a battery and a Scowser fan?
A: A battery has a positive side.
Q: Why do Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
A: So they ain’t mistaken fur a Liverpudlian women.
Q: Why did Beardsley never play inScotland
A: Cos he wiz afraid of the Bells (Scottish Premier).
A: They keep scoring Owen goals.
Q: How many
A: Yeah, as if they have electricity in
Q: What’s is the difference between Pamela Anderson and the
A: Pam’s only got two tits in front of her.
Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an intelligent
A: The old drunk, of course - the other 3 are mythical creatures.
Q: What do Pool Fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 2.000.000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q: How can you tell a level headed
A: He dribbles from both sides of his mouth - at the same time.
Q: What do you get if you cross a
A: Thick bacon.
Q: What do you get if you cross a Monkey with a Liverpudlian?
A: Nothing. The monkeys are far too clever to screw a Liverpudlian.
Q: What is the difference between a battery and a Scowser fan?
A: A battery has a positive side.
Q: Why do Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
A: So they ain’t mistaken fur a Liverpudlian women.
Q: Why did Beardsley never play in
A: Cos he wiz afraid of the Bells (Scottish Premier).
David Beckham Q&A Jokes
Q: What would David Beckham’s name be if he was a Spice Girl?
A: Waste of Spice.
Q: What do Barry Manilow and David Beckham have in common?
A: They are both f**king useless singers.
Q: Why is David Beckham like a Ferrero Roche?
A: They both come in a posh box.
Q: What’s the difference between David Beckham and Posh?
A: Posh Spice doesn’t kick back when she’s taken from behind.
Q: What do David Beckham and British rail trains have in common?
A: They both go in and out ofVictoria
Q: What do theEngland
A: They’ve both been screwed by David Beckham.
Q: Why did Posh Spice marry David Beckham?
A: Because he’s the only fella who can lob Seaman at 60 yards!
A: Waste of Spice.
Q: What do Barry Manilow and David Beckham have in common?
A: They are both f**king useless singers.
Q: Why is David Beckham like a Ferrero Roche?
A: They both come in a posh box.
Q: What’s the difference between David Beckham and Posh?
A: Posh Spice doesn’t kick back when she’s taken from behind.
Q: What do David Beckham and British rail trains have in common?
A: They both go in and out of
Q: What do the
A: They’ve both been screwed by David Beckham.
Q: Why did Posh Spice marry David Beckham?
A: Because he’s the only fella who can lob Seaman at 60 yards!
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