What's a mixed feeling?

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Q. What's a mixed feeling? A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Q What's the height of conceit? A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Q. What's the definition of macho? A. Jogging home from your vasectomy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex? A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Q.Why is divorce so expensive? A. Because it's worth it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Q. What is a Yankee? A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common? A. They both like a tight seal. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? A. Their balls are just for decoration. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Q.What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'? A. About three inches. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Q: What's the difference between purple and pink? A. The grip. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? A. It's not hard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: Kick his sister in the jaw. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 pounds. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? A. The swallow. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Q: What is the difference between medium and rare? A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? A .. They don't have balls to scratch! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ OH, don't groan. You know darn well you're going to send this on to somebody Live well, laugh hard, & love deeply!!!