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Aug 31, 2010

jokes

प्रेमी प्रेमिकालाई:प्यारि तिमीसँग बिहे गर्न सक्दिन मेरो परिवारले मानिरहेको छैनन्

प्रेमिक:तिम्रो परिवारमा को को ?

प्रेमि:एउटि श्रीमती तीन जना बच्चा..........

 

शिक्षक:यती तिम्रो बुवाले ५०० रुपैया १० को दर ले ब्याजमा लिनु भयो भने बर्षमा कती तिर्नु पर्छ ?

विद्यार्थी:कती पनि तिर्नु पर्दैन

शिक्षक:तिमीलाई हिसाब गर्न आउदैन ?

विद्यार्थी:सर मलाई हिसाब आउछ तर मेरो बुवालाई आउदैन

 

राम: एक पटक जँगल मा पिसाब गर्न लाई गएको थिए मेरो अगाडी एउटा बाघ आयो

श्याम्: अनि के भयो???

राम: मैले बाघ लाई भने पहिले तिमी गर मेरो भयो.......

 

राम:त्यो केटी हेर कती राम्री

श्याम्:मलाई त्यस्को नाम थाहा

राम:के नाम हो त्यसको

श्याम्:त्यो केटी बैँक मा काम गर्छे, उस्को काउन्टरको माथी उस्को नाम लेखेको चालु खाता....

 

सिक्षक्: ठुलो भए पछी तिमी के गर्छौ ?

विद्यार्थी: सर बिहे

सिक्षक्: मेरो मतलब्, के बन्छौ?

विद्यार्थी: सर बेहुला

सिक्षक्: मेरो मतलब त्यो होईन, ठुलो भएर के पाउछौ?

विद्यार्थी: सर बेहुलि..

 

परिछामा एउटा परिछार्थिले सबै प्रश्नको उत्तर खाली छोडेछ अन्तिम पृस्ठ मा यस्तो लेखेछ ,,,,,:-

"यदी आफ्नो बाउको सन्तान होश भने पास बनएर देखा

 

एउटा प्रचलित वृध मान्छेले भर्खरको केटीसँग विवाह गरेछ

रिपोर्टर : तपाईंले उहाँमा के देख्नुभयो ?

केटी : एक उहाँको इन्कम्, अर्को दिनकम

 

पती पत्निमा लडाईं भयो पती रिसले घरबाट हिड्यो

( घण्टापछी पती घरमा फोन गर्दै)

पती : आज के पकाको

पत्नी : बिष ! खाने हो

 

हरी : मम्मी जन्मनुभन्दा पहिला तपाईंले मलाई देख्नुभएको थियो

मम्मी : थिईन

हरी : त्यसोभए जन्मिएपछी मलाई कसरी चिन्नुभयो

 

रोगी : डाक्टर साब मलाई डर लागि रहेको , किनकी यो मेरो पहिलो आपरेसन हो

डाक्टर : तिम्रो हालत राम्ररी बुज्छु, किनभने मेरो पनि यो पहिलो आपरेसन हो

Dec 15, 2009

final exams~ funny hahaha

Finals week !!


F.I.N.A.L.S.
F: F**k
I: I
N: Never
A: Actually
L: Learned
S: Shit

Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING.....i don't think that was an accident!

I'm not going to cheat on the test tommorow, i'm simply going to study during it.

Twas the night before exam week, and all through the dorms, not a student was studying, this was usually the norm. Kegs in the kitchen, jello shots in the hall--thanks to the liquor, it was a late night for all. Passed out all around, the kids all slept tight. When they woke up the next day, they thought, 'Man, whatta night!' We are to hung-over to study they shouted with cheer. So forget the exams and bring on the beer!

Finals are like boys...
1. they're hard to understand
2. you might get the urge to cheat on them
3. some are harder than others
4. they put pressure on you to perform well
5. they were created to make our lives hell
6. you can work for hours and still get no satisfaction
7. some take longer to finish than others
8. you always have 3 or 4 at a time
9. some aren't as big as you had expected
10. they're much easier to do when you're drunk because you just don't care

A group of college students knew they had a quiz on Monday, so on Friday they decided to go party and come back to study on Sunday. Well, they where having so much fun that they called their professor and said they had a flat tire and couldn't be back until Monday night.. the professor said ok, and they decided to go home Monday, study and take the test Tuesday. So they came back and studied but little did they know the professor was onto them. He put them all into seperate rooms and they took their tests, but the last question was a bonus question worth 50% of the grade..the question? : Which tire????

A professor was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrows final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family members death. One smart ass, male student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" and the whole classroom burst into laughter. After the laughter had subsided, the prof glared at the student, and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write".

Yo his pencil's heavy, knees weak, face is sweaty...the final is on the desk already, but he forgot to study. He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to score A's, but he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down the proctor yawns so loud, then opens his mouth and the words come out...he's talking now everyone's listening now..."the clock's run out...time's up, put your pencils down."

Now I lay me down to study,
I pray the lord I won't go nutty,
for if I fail to learn this junk,
I pray the Lord I will not flunk.
But if I do don't pitty me at all,
just lay my bones in the dorm hall.
Tell my professer I did my best,
now I lay me down to rest,
and pray ill pass tomorrow's test.
But if I die before I wake,
that's one less test ill have to TAKE!

I'm studying for finals - this defies the laws of physics by sucking and blowing at the same time :-/

Dude, why bother taking these finals if I just know I'm going to fail them? Right now, I'm practicing the phrase, 'Would you like fries with that?'
As long as there are finals, there will be prayer in public schools.

I hate having finals. I have to learn everything that I was supposed to be learning all semester … in one week what's with that???
It has commenced...finals week is upon us in full force, seizing what sanity I have left after a menacing term. The thought of a pure, utopian society has faded while (insert school name here) has captured the last breath of any rational existence and conquered our self-worth. In coming days it is likely to see a plethora of unpleasant faces staring into an oblivion that can only be experienced by the (insert school name here) society. The underlying prolifigacy in which this institution so loves to put forth has taken a toll on our already feeble carcasses, in result of consuming repulsive dining hall rations. The possibility of survival is a distant notion...God help us all...

I'm making a million flashcards
In this time of despair,
I can't really concentrate
In this fun swivel chair.
I hate how they say
This is Important to know.
When all we're learning
Is how plants grow.
You have no idea
How annoyed I am
Changing my plans
For this dumb final exam.
Can you please just
LEAVE ME ALONE AND GO AWAY!
YOU DAMN FINALS
YOU'RE RUINING MY DAY!

Nov 28, 2009

Chilly Question & Ans.

Chilly Question & Ans.

*Girlfriend: **And are you sure you love me and no one else?*

*Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday*

***********

*Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?*

*Customer: What other colors do you have?*

***********

*Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help.*

*Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help
anyway!!*

***********

*Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?*

*Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.*

***********

*Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!*

*Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.*

***********

*Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!*

*Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?*

***********

*Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.*

*Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!*

***********

*Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!*

*Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.*

***********

*Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!*

*Son: That's why I say she's no **good!*

--
Sean Pun
Butwal, Nepal

Nov 24, 2009

Kapilvastu Day on December 1, 2009

Dear Friends

Nepali compatriots worldwide and friends of Nepal are celebrating Kapilvastu Day on December 1, 2009. It was December 1, 1896, when German Archaeologist Anton Fuhrer identified Ashok Pillar, which was already unearthed by Khadga Shamsher, in Kapilvastu -- a kingdom at Buddha's time -- located in southern Nepal that proved this place as birthplace of Lord Buddha. Buddha spent his life till he was 29 at this place as crown prince. This program is instrumental to spread Buddha's message of peace while promoting Nepali patriotism and pride of Nepali nation worldwide. The goal of this program is to expand popularity of Kapilvastu -- the birthplace of Lord Buddha -- among global general masses and help them understand Buddhism and its message of peace and harmony.
Nepalese have been expressing their commitment to peace and harmony by involving in peacekeeping missions at different parts of the globe for decades. Positive experiences and experiments observed in Nepal on peaceful conflict management prove that Nepalese are peace-loving people. Moreover, we are thrilled by expectation of positive outcomes of recent unanimous decision made by UN Security Council on reducing nuclear weapons globally. Hence, this program is also expression of our support to all types of initiatives for long lasting peace built on principles of human rights, social justice and equality.
Birthplace of Lord Buddha, the founder of Buddhism and messenger of peace, has international significance when international armed conflicts and social unrest are prevailing in different parts of the world. Furthermore, the significance of peace and birthplace of first credible promoter of it never diminishes. Considering this fact, UNESCO has listed Lumbini, -- proper place in Kapilvastu -- where Buddha was born, as world heritage site. The credit of making Kapilvastu internationally known goes to Anton Fuhrer and the date he identified Ashok pillar. Thus, we have decided to celebrate December 1, 2009 as Kapilvastu day to honor Archaeologist Fuhrer, to express our solidarity to peace initiatives worldwide, to spread Buddha's message of peace and harmony, and to promote pilgrimage tourism in Kapilvastu.
We have included materials that provide detailed information on Kapilvastu, Anton Fuhrer and his contribution resulted in making Kapilvastu known to the world, and our programs on this day with this letter. Hence, we humbly request you to support this program by all possible means in your capacity, including organizing programs, to make this celebration a success.
This programme is volunteer initiative of ours and everybody is free to mark this day at his/her convenience. Some of possible positive activities one can involve can be:
Organizing talk programmes and meetings locally
*Printing and distributing leaflets that educates people on key facts and figures about Buddha and his teachings, Lumbini and Kapilvastu
*Circulating emails containing key information on Buddha and his teachings, Lumbini and Kapilvastu among friends
*Using social networking sites like facebook, twitter, orkut, hi5, etc., to spread message of Kapilvastu day and its significance
*Materials for our own information and for collection and distribution are available at (All website links are provided by Madhusudan Rimal – who used to teach Buddhism at
Mahendra Sanskrit University and currently living in Germany. Mr. Rimal is trying to organize a programme at Munich, Germany):
About Kapilbastu
http://whc.unesco.org/en/list/666 (world heritage site from UNESCO-UN)
http://www.ddckapilvastu.gov.np/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kapilvastu_District
http://www.buddhist-temples.com/uttar-pradesh/kapilvastu.html
Some pictures http://www.picsearch.com/pictures/travel/cities/asia/northeast%20asia/nepal/kapilvastu.html
About Lumbini
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lumbini
Academic site http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/buddhistworld/lumbini.htm
Informative site
http://www.buddhist-temples.com/lumbini.html
http://www.lumbini.org.uk/
http://www.sacred-destinations.com/nepal/lumbini
About Buddha
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gautama_Buddha
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhahood
http://www.aboutbuddha.org/
Encyclopedia Britannica
http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/83105/Buddha
In Canada
http://www.synaptic.bc.ca/ejournal/buddhist.htm
Ashoka Pillar
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pillars_of_Ashoka
About Buddhism
Academic site
http://www.buddhanet.net/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhism
http://www.sacred-texts.com/bud/index.htm
Responses available till today:
Madhusudan Rimal and friends at Germany are trying to organize a programme at their location.

Friends at Toronto (Ontario, Canada), including Chandra Rai, Subas BK, Ashok Khadka, Govinda Siwakoti, etc., are trying to organize a talk programme at their location.

Rajendra Neupane and other friends at Victoria (British Columbia, Canada) are trying to organize a talk programme to mark this day.

Reading Revellers' Club at Vancouver (British Columbia, Canada) has selected Buddha, Kapilvastu and Lumbini as theme of their next meeting on December 5, 2009 to express its solidarity to Kapilvastu day.

Ram Kumar Shrestha – located at London (UK) is mobilizing his more than 500 friends through emails and social networking websites. He has already made the day popular by publishing materials online at http://nepalisamachar.com/?p=4975, http://www.nepalarab.com/articles_view.php?id=509 and http://nepalarab.com/press_view.php?id=112. He also has written to Ambassadors and Consul Generals requesting their solidarity in this programme.
Some friends decided to write poems for this programme. Relevant poems, songs, bhajans and articles most well come. I would like to request again to include the logo with them while keeping them as note. Use of logo will have lots of importance and one of the advantages is to make impact study job very easy and time saving.

North American Nepali Students' Association (NANSA) is also in process of expressing its solidarity to the programme and possibly involving in activities of that day.

"The people, and the people alone, are the motive force in the making of world history"

Oct 26, 2009

Home Remedies for High Blood Pressure


Hypertension or high blood pressure, as it is more commonly known, is regarded as a silent killer. It is a disease of the modern age. The fast pace of life and the mental and physical pressures caused by the increasingly industrialised and metropolitan environments have a role to play in the rise in blood pressure.
Blood pressure is measured with an instrument called sphygnomanometer in millimetres of mercury. The highest pressure reached during each heart beat is called systolic pressure, and the lowest between two beat is known as diastolic pressure. Most young adults have blood pressure around 120/80. It increases normally with age, even going upto 160/90.
*Symptoms of high blood pressure*
Pain at the back of the head and neck The first symptom of hypertension may appear as a pain at the back of the head and neck on waking in the morning, which soon disappears. Dizziness, Palpitations Some of the other common symptoms are dizziness, palpitations, pain in the region of the heart, frequent urination, nervous tension, fatigue, and difficulty in breathing.
*Causes of high blood pressure*
High Blood Pressure Symptoms, Causes, Remedy and Diet Stress and faulty life style The main causes of high blood pressure are stress and a faulty style of living. Smoking and an excessive intake of intoxicants, tea, coffee, and refined foods destroy the natural pace of life and prevent the expulsion of waste and poisonous matter from the body. Hardening of the arteries (atherosclerosis), obesity, and diabetes lead to hypertension. Excessive intake of common salt, and high fat diet Other causes of high blood pressure are an excessive intake of common table salt, and eating a high fat and low fibre diet.
*Home remedies for high blood pressure*
High Blood Pressure home remedies and natural cures, Questions and answers High Blood Pressure treatment using Garlic Garlic
is regarded as an effective means of lowering blood pressure. It is said to reduce spasms of the small arteries. It also slows down the pulse rate and modifies the heart rhythm, besides relieving the symptoms of dizziness,
numbness, shortness of breath, and the formation of gas within the digestive tract. It may be taken in the form of raw cloves or two to three capsules a day. High Blood Pressure treatment using Indian Gooseberry Indian
gooseberry is another effective remedy for high blood pressure. A tablespoon each of fresh indian gooseberry juice and honey mixed together should be taken every morning in this condition. High Blood Pressure treatment using Lemon Lemon is also regarded as a valuable food to control high blood pressure. It is a rich source of vitamin P which is found both in the juice and peel of the fruit. This vitamin is essential for preventing capillary fragility. High Blood Pressure treatment using Grapefruit Grapefruit is useful in preventing high blood pressure. The vitamin P content in the fruit is helpful in toning up the arteries. High Blood Pressure treatment using Watermelon Watermelon is another valuable safeguard against high blood pressure. A substance extracted from watermelon seeds is said to have a definite action in dilating the blood vessels, which results in lowering the blood pressure. The seeds, dried and roasted, should be taken in liberal quantities. High Blood Pressure treatment using Rice Rice has a low-fat, low-cholesterol, and low-salt content. It makes a perfect diet for those hypertensive persons who have been advised salt-restricted diets. Calcium in brown rice, in particular, soothes and relaxes the nervous system and helps relieve the symptoms of high blood pressure.

High Blood Pressure treatment using Potato Potatoes, specially in boiled form, are a valuable food for lowering blood pressure. When boiled with their skin, they absorb very little salt. Thus they can form a useful addition to a salt-free diet recommended for patients with high blood pressure. Potatoes are rich in potassium but not in sodium salts. The magnesium present in the vegetable exercises beneficial effects in lowering blood pressure. High Blood Pressure treatment using Parsley Parsley is very useful in high blood pressure. It contains elements, which help maintain the blood vessels, particularly, the capillaries. It keeps the arterial system in a healthy condition. It may be taken as a beverage by simmering 20 gm of fresh parsley leaves gently in 250 ml of water for a few minutes. This may be drunk several times daily. High Blood Pressure treatment using Rauwolfia Among the herbs, rauwolfia is the best remedy for high blood pressure. Alkaloids of this drug, which have a direct effect on hypertension, have been isolated and are being widely used by practitioners of modem medicine, but they have certain unpleasant side-effects which the drug, taken in raw form, does not have. Practitioners of the Indian system of medicine have, therefore, preferred to use the root of the drug in a powdered from. Half a teaspoon of this drug, taken thrice a day, is very effective in hypertension. High Blood Pressure treatment using Vegetable Juice Raw vegetable juices, especially carrot and spinach juices, taken separately or in combination, are also beneficial in the treatment of high blood pressure. If taken in combination, 300 ml of carrot juice and 200 ml of spinach juice should be mixed to make 500 ml or half a litre of the juice, and taken daily. If taken separately, one glass should be taken twice daily, morning and evening. High Blood Pressure treatment using Dietary Calcium and Potassium Recent studies have revealed an important link between dietary calcium and potassium and hypertension. Researchers have found that people who take potassium-rich diets have a low incidence of hypertension even if they do not control their salt intake. They have also found that people with hypertension do not seem to get much calcium in the form of dairy products. These two essential nutrients seem to help the body secrete excess sodium and are involved in important functions which control the working of the vascular system.
Potassium is found in abundance in fruits and vegetables, and calcium in dairy products. High blood pressure diet High Blood Pressure : Home Remedies suggested by users High Blood Pressure Diet Persons with high blood pressure should always follow a well-balanced routine of a proper diet, exercise, and rest. Diet is of primary importance. Meat and eggs, more than any other food, cause the blood pressure to rise. The pressure can be lowered and blood clotting diminished by increasing the consumption of fruits, reducing protein intake, and sticking to a vegetarian diet. A natural diet consisting of fresh fruits and vegetables instead of a traditional diet, helps to get rid of the toxins from the body. Salt should be avoided; in any case, it should not exceed more than three grams or about half a teaspoon per day. Other high blood pressure remedies Other High Blood Pressure treatment Persons suffering from hypertension must get at least eight hours of good sleep, because proper rest is a vital aspect of the treatment. Most important of all, the patient must avoid overstrain, worries, tension, anger, and haste. He or she must develop a calm and cheerful attitude and develop a contented frame of mind.
-- 
Sean Pun
Butwal, Nepal

Facebook Insta down right now फेसबुकमा समस्या

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