1. DRESS CODE: It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Rs 1000 Prada sneakers & carrying a Rs 2000 Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. 2. SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. 3. SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment. 4. PERSONAL DAYS: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays and Sundays. 5. VACATION DAYS: All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: January 1, July 4, and December 25. 6. BEREAVEMENT LEAVE: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for deceased friends, relatives, or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your work is done. 7. OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement. 8. RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going once each day, in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors must approve this exchange in writing. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open. 9. LUNCH BREAK: Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balance meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. |
 My Ten Angels Ten angels walk beside me, each and every day. Ten angels help to guide me, to give comfort and protect. They have been my companions since I was very young. Now you ask me, "Why ten? Do you think you are special? Why not one, or two, or three? Why ten? Surely you don't need so many." Well, each and every angel has a special job to do. Yes, it seems that even angels specialize.
But there are seven more you see, and each and every one gives comfort and protects.
And last but in no way least, is the angel I call Love.  Sometimes she seems so shy and it seems like she is sleeping. But she is always near. If we would only open up our hearts and just see her standing there. For if we did, then all the other Angels would be easier to see. It is my belief that we all have Ten Angels walking beside us. They are sent from God , to see us through, to guide, comfort and protect us until the day we join Him in the place we call Heaven.  Take time to notice the angels around you! Pass this on to a friend. We all need to know our angels! |
